Scribbles and Scrolls

“They’re in a better place”

These are the words that we use to comfort ourselves when someone’s died.

“I’ll end all the pain now.”

Those are the words that we use to comfort ourselves when we want to die.

Or some variation

In any case…what if those words aren’t accurate? What if when you die you go through a terrible suffering? What if it doesn’t get better than this? What if this is all there is?

No one wants to think that.

Before, when I couldn’t put up with living, I didn’t want to think that either. I couldn’t think that. I couldn’t bear to live and I went on with my life only because I had the idea in mind that this suffering would end and that I’d go to a much better place afterwards. But I was simple. So simple. That thought was simple and I was misguided by some fantasy that wasn’t even all that fantastic.

I thought with my desires. And I wasn’t living to find a better existence. I was living as a heavy soul dragging myself through one life to get to another “better” life later on.

But think. Think in terms of possibilities. Force yourself to see the possibility that this is all there is and that nothing better is coming. Far scarier, still, is the possibility that it may even get WORSE after this. Worse than your suffering now? Not possible, you think. Nothing could be worse. You tell yourself these things. I did, too. But why? Why do we think that? Because we’re too simple to believe in the unfathomable possibility of facing pain worse than what is experienced now? Well believe it. Believe it because so far, no one has come back from the dead with tales of green forests that go on forever in a land where everything is great and nothing hurts. Sure, it’s possible. But it’s also possible that those souls are dealing with the very possibility that so many of us refuse to face.

I started living the life of a beautiful existence when I looked at what’s here now-what’s real and true and right in front of me right now for the taking. I found my green forest where nothing hurts right here when I stopped looking for a way out or a secret tunnel to some wonderland and started to create what I wanted out of life instead because I’ll be damned if I spend my entire life dwelling on the miserable possibility of what might be.

Tagged: deathsuicide

claydols:

who decided that you need some deep back story in order to justify your tattoo
if you think a deer is gonna look cool as hell on your arm then go ahead and get it tattooed

Source: basedgosh

pippa6100:

I can’t believe Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, bought tumblr

Source: pippa6100

I ruined the day :((